Paradox

He tells me I am heartless. He begs. He wants me to be with him.

His interactions with me range from accusing me of everything that is wrong with his life to how much he cannot even live a day without me. He tells me that he needs me and wants me to no end, that I should give him a chance to make me happy.

There are days when he tries to impress me. He tells me how wonderfully perfect I am and how much I make his life better. And then there are days when he cannot stop criticizing the same “wonderfully perfect” person. I listen to him. Perhaps, I shouldn’t but I have learned to be patient… and also be indifferent.

I know that he wants me but I know he does not love me. There is a difference between loving a person and loving the idea of a person. I know that at the end of it all, I am replaceable. I am a wonderful idea, but that is all I am. I know I will not amount to anything more.

Right now I am the best and the worst person—best for being ‘wonderfully perfect’ and worst for not reciprocating his emotions. But I know that he will *love* me until he finds someone else.

Can you blame me?